


The Trickster's World

by vivvav



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Arcana Stuff, Game Spoilers, Gen, The AFR Universe, Weird Cognitive Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-16 13:35:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11254011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivvav/pseuds/vivvav
Summary: The game has not played out how he imagined it would. Could the Trickster actually prevent humanity's ruin? Is it possible that Ren Amamiya truly poses a threat to his ascension? Only a journey into the boy's Cognition will tell.END GAME SPOILERS. THIS FIC STARS THE FINAL BOSS OF THE GAME. DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT CLEARED THE DEPTHS OF MEMENTOS ON THE FINAL DAY.





	1. God's Plan

Goro Akechi was dead. He had made several attempts to kill Ren Amamiya, but he had been thoroughly defeated. And then, unexpectedly, he sacrificed his own life to save his rival’s. This wasn’t exactly how the game was supposed to end. Neither Trickster had truly destroyed the other. This disturbed Yaldabaoth. He had been orchestrating this conflict for so long, even rigged the game by removing Igor from the picture and sundering Lavenza into two beings that had forgotten their purpose. For a twist of this magnitude to happen was an affront to his very existence as the god of control. Of all the things Ren Amamiya could have done to Goro Akechi, partially reforming the boy was not supposed to be one of them. Perhaps the last Trickster standing had been trained too well. The strength he drew from and inspired in his Confidants had far exceeded Yaldabaoth’s expectations. Almighty though Yaldabaoth was, he knew that even he was not invincible. If the Amamiya boy continued to realize his seemingly-boundless potential, it was possible that Yaldabaoth’s grand design could be foiled. He needed to ascertain the full extent of the boy’s power. He needed to know just what exactly lingered in Ren Amamiya's heart.

* * *

 

Caroline opened the door to Ren Amamiya's cell in the Velvet Room. The boy had been summoned, but he was still asleep on the prison bed. “Igor” turned to Justine.

“Now, my dear, it is imperative that the boy not stir for the duration of my examination” the false master said.

“Of course, Master.” Justine walked into the cell and gingerly placed her hands on Ren's temples, her hands glowing. “My magic will ensure that he remains asleep until you have accomplished your task.”

“Excellent.” “Igor” stepped into the cell. “Make sure not to cease tending to him, even for a moment. If he awakens while I am exploring his heart, the consequences could be disastrous.”

“Master, are you sure about this?” Caroline looked at the man she believed to be her boss with an unusual sense of worry. He let out his trademark deep menacing chuckle in response.

“There is no need to fear for me, Caroline. I am more than aware of what I am doing.”

“I’m sure you are, and I don’t doubt your wisdom or anything, but…” Caroline looked at the sleeping Ren with the same sense of worry. Where once she had great disdain for the boy, now she’d grown quite fond of him, although of course she’d never admit it. “Is this really necessary? You yourself have said how remarkable the inmate’s progress towards rehabilitation has been. Isn’t this overdoing it a little?”

“It’s not our place to question our master, Caroline.” Justine looked at her sister with her usual hard-to-read serenity.

“Now now, Justine. Such curiosity is only natural.” “Igor” turned to Caroline with his usual creepy smile. “I can only infer so much observing from the outside as I have. This deep probing is indeed unconventional, but it is the best way to get the most comprehensive understanding of our young guest’s progress. This examination must be conducted. It is for his benefit.”

“Well, I don’t fully get it…” Caroline scratched her head with her baton, taking care not to activate the shock feature. “But if you say so, Master, then I guess that’s the way it is.”

Good. That seemed to pacify the brat. The fewer questions the twins had, the less of a threat they presented. On her own, Lavenza was never powerful enough to destroy Yaldabaoth, but that didn’t mean her reawakening couldn’t throw a wrench into his plans.

“I shall return shortly.” Yaldabaoth’s entire being began to glow, and he turned into pure light. He condensed himself into a small ball, and descended upon the slumbering boy’s cranium.

* * *

Yaldabaoth was entering Ren's Cognition. It wasn’t quite the same as a Palace. It did not require Ren to have distorted desires, but it did require the boy to be present in the Velvet Room. The room's unique state of existence between dream and reality, combined with sleeping being a prerequisite for Ren to be inside of it allowed Yaldabaoth to manifest a new plane of existence similar to a Palace by applying the Velvet Room’s metaphysical properties to Ren Amamiya's subconscious. This Cognitive World would only last for as long as Yaldabaoth remained inside of it, and it wouldn’t be quite as strong a reflection of Ren's perception of his own world as a Palace would be, but it would still give Yaldabaoth a good idea of how Ren viewed his life in general. Also unlike a Palace, nothing Yaldabaoth did in this world could endanger Ren. There was no treasure to steal, no Shadow Ren to destroy. Yaldabaoth would simply be experiencing an approximation of Ren Amamiya's worldview. Still, the demiurge had no idea what to expect. Ren Amamiya's Cognitive World could be literally anything. Perhaps a dark fairground of which Joker was in control. Or a prison like the Velvet Room, but even more elaborate and filled with terrors.

Instead, Yaldabaoth found himself standing in a white void. For a moment, he believed that his attempt to create a world from Ren Amamiya's cognition had failed, but then he noticed something in the distance. It was too far away to tell what it was, so he walked towards it. It didn’t take long. Every step Yaldabaoth took seemed to advanced him the distance of one hundred steps. A miles-long trek that should’ve taken a substantial amount of time was instead taking seconds. As he made his rapid advance, the object become more clear to Yaldabaoth: It was a large gateway, made of plain stone double doors. And as he got even closer, there seemed to be somebody standing in front of the gate. Yaldabaoth wasn’t sure who it was. They were dressed in bizarre, colorful clothes, had flowing golden hair, and their back was turned to him. Soon enough, Yaldabaoth was standing a few feet away from the figure.

“Are you the guardian of this gateway?”

The figure did not respond. Their shoulders bounced up and down in silent laughter.

“If you do not wish to answer, that is of no concern to me. But I will pass through this gate. You may either step aside, or I will go through you. What becomes of you is also of no concern to me.”

The figure turned to Yaldabaoth, slowly revealing their face. The features were all too familiar to him. A wide grin showing menacing-yet-immaculate teeth. Two bugged-out, bloodshot eyes. And a large proboscis comparable to a toucan’s beak in size.

“IGOR!” A black aura surrounded Yaldabaoth, who was still in the assumed form of the man standing before him. He floated off the ground and his eyes began to glow. “What are you doing here!? How did you escape your confinement!?”

“I fear you have me confused with somebody else, handsome stranger.” The colorfully-clad man spoke with the god of control’s own deep voice. “My name is not Igor. I am just a Fool.”

“A Fool?” Yaldabaoth calmed down, the dark aura dissipating. Igor was still locked up in the Velvet Room. This being before him was Ren Amamiya's cognition of the Igor that Yaldabaoth pretended to be, but altered somehow. Evidently, he was presenting himself as the Arcana that “Igor” was meant to represent to Ren. Perhaps speaking with this being would enlighten Yaldabaoth as to how strong the boy truly was. “I see. Tell me, Fool, what is it that you are doing here?”

“Waiting for whoever comes along, my debonair friend.” The Fool extended his elbow, leaning on Yaldabaoth’s shoulder, his face getting intrusively close to Yaldabaoth’s. “In this case, I suppose that would be you. You _have_ come along here, have you not?”

“So it would seem.” Yaldabaoth pushed the Fool off of his person. “Are you here to open this gate for me?”

“I could be.” The Fool leaned his back against the gateway and crossed his arms. “I could be a great many things.”

“Such as what?”

“Such as whatever you wish me to be. I am a beginning to greater things. The first step in the journey of a thousand. A being of infinite possibilities. I could be a masseuse to energize you for your future endeavors, or a therapist with whom to discuss your troubles. Or if you so desire, I could be the fellow who opens this gate for you.” The Fool bowed as an actor would, one hand over his chest, the other held out to his side, twirling with a slight flourish.

“That is indeed what I would have you be.” Yaldabaoth had little patience for this clownish version of his own disguise. “I command you to open this gate for me.”

“As you wish.” The Fool turned to the door and put his hands on his hips. “Oh, alack and alas…” He pointed to a spot a few dozen feet above the base of the double doors, where there was a tiny keyhole. “The way by which I would provide you the entry you seek is ever-so-slightly out of reach. Not to fear, though!” The Fool turned to Yaldabaoth and clasped his hands together. “I have a solution! But I shall need your assistance!”

“What do you require of me?”

“A smart-looking fellow like yourself will figure it out, I’m sure!” The Fool jumped and clicked his heels. There was a puff of smoke and he disappeared. In his place on the ground was a small box with garish colors similar to the Fool’s outfit, a crank sticking out from its side.

“If you would do the honors” said the Fool’s voice from nowhere in particular.

Yaldabaoth picked up the box and began to turn the crank. An upbeat jingle began to play as he did so, growing louder and louder. As the song finished, the top of the box opened with a loud pop and a tiny upper half of Igor shot out of it, the bottom of his chest connected to a spring. The spring kept extending outwards, the toy facsimile of Yaldabaoth’s hated foe rising higher and higher. He halted his ascent before the keyhole. The little puppet reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a large key, sticking it into the keyhole and giving it a turn. The twin doors began to shift, opening inwards, a bright golden light shining through the cracks. Were Yaldabaoth a lesser being, he would consider it blinding. When the doors fully opened, the jack-in-the-box, tiny Igor and all, vanished in another puff of smoke. 

“Enjoy your journey, friend!” One again, the Fool’s voice echoed, coming from no visible source.

Yaldabaoth moved past the open gate, stepping into the light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is certainly different from my other works, ain't it?
> 
> While the P5 fanfics I usually write are usually about character interactions and emotions, the stuff I've written most of my life and still want to write professionally is genre fiction with bizarre worlds and beings with crazy powers. So I figured after two months of personal experimentation, it was time for me to play around in my usual wheelhouse a bit.
> 
> There's still be a lot of that Confidant goodness you've come to expect, just with a different coat of paint, so stick around. I'm gonna be honest with you all: I have no goddamn idea where I'm going with this. And I am very excited by that. I have the most fun writing when I'm flying by the seat of my pants.


	2. The Escort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In order to learn the full extent of the boy's power, Yaldabaoth must find Ren Amamiya within his own Cognitive World. But it seems he'll need some help from the locals to achieve this...

Despite the bright light that shone through the gate, when Yaldabaoth passed through, he found it was quite dark. He was standing on a cliff overlooking the sea, and it was nighttime. Surveying the area around him, there was no sign of civilization, no source of light except for the moon and stars in the sky. The only unnatural thing present was a wooden post stuck into the ground at Yaldabaoth’s feet. There was a rope tied around the post, which trailed off towards and over the cliff’s edge. Yaldabaoth glanced over the precipice and saw a sandy cove that the rope led to. Although Yaldabaoth could easily float down from the cliffside, he felt it would be best to play by this world’s rules for the time being. There was clearly a design to it, and following that design would be the best way to gain a thorough understanding of Ren Amamiya. And so, with little difficulty, Yaldabaoth began climbing down the rope.

As he neared the end of his descent, Yaldabaoth became able to see a cave at the cliff’s base. When his feet touched the sand, he heard a yawn come from inside, and a person began to emerge from the cave. Having monitored Ren Amamiya for as long as he had, Yaldabaoth was familiar with the many people throughout the city of Tokyo the boy had grown close to, and he recognized this being as the Trickster’s best friend, Ryuji Sakamoto. Or rather, it was a Cognitive version of Ryuji, one that exhibited some notable physical differences from the real-world article. For one, he was notably taller. He also lacked his usual punkish vestments. He wore loose short-sleeved clothing of plain white cloth, more like robes than modern casual wear. His feet were clad in old-fashioned wooden sandals. He also carried a traditional Japanese farmer’s hat in his right hand, his fingers running through his blonde locks, which seemed to be natural in this world instead of dyed. The visible arms and legs that his clothing did not cover also had far more muscle definition than the actual Ryuji’s, although they were still sleek overall. He rubbed his eyes and gave Yaldabaoth a small smile.

“Wow, you actually climbed the rope? Awesome.”

“I do not see how such a simple task is worthy of awe” Yaldabaoth replied.

“No, like, it’s just somethin’ I put up to see if anybody’d actually do it. Most people just walk back down to the base of the cliff and ‘round the beach.” Ryuji put on his hat. “So, where am I takin’ ya?”

“Are you to be my guide through this world?”

“I dunno about ‘guide’. Just, y’know, transport.” The young man began stretching his legs. “I’m the Chariot. Takin’ people where they gotta go’s what I do.”

“Is this location not out of the way of most travel routes?”

“Look man, I’m not some great thinker. I run fast and get folks where they need to go. It ain’t complicated or nothin’, but it’s what I do and I do it well.” The Chariot gave Yaldabaoth an annoyed look. “So is there somewhere ya wanna go or are you just here to flap your gums? ‘Cuz you don’t really seem like the kinda guy I’d have fun shootin’ the shit with, and I wanna get back to bed ASAP.”

“Very well, then.” Yaldabaoth was not enjoying speaking to this impertinent figment anyway. If everybody he met was going to be like this, perhaps he should just speed things ahead and find Ren Amamiya himself. Seeing how the boy perceived himself in this world would tell Yaldabaoth what he needed to about how powerful he had truly gotten. Like a Palace, this world was built on Amamiya's perceptions and beliefs, but unlike somebody with distorted desires, Ren's self-image would be an accurate reflection of how strong he could be in the Cognitive World. Should the time come that the Trickster stood against Yaldabaoth, that world is where they would do battle, whether it was successfully merged with the human world or not. “Take me to Ren Amamiya, Chariot.”

“Alright, sure.” The Chariot stared at Yaldabaoth blankly. “Where’s that?”

“You do not know Ren Amamiya?”

“I mean…” The Chariot rubbed his chin. “He sounds familiar, but I dunno where I might’ve met him. He a buddy of yours or somethin’?”

“He is the being to whom this world belongs, you imbecile!”

“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, man.” The Chariot looked up to the sky and started yelling. “You guys got any clue what this dude’s on about!?”

“Who are you speaking to?”

“Geez, Chariot…” A meek voice came from the sky. Yaldabaoth looked up and saw the Moon begin to turn. A face came into view as it did. It was the face of Yuuki Mishima, the weak boy who regularly pestered Ren Amamiya about his being a Phantom Thief. “Do you have to be so loud all the time?”

“Quit your gripin’, Moon! I need your help!” The Chariot put his hands on his hips. “Do you know what a ‘Renamiya’ is!?”

“A what?”

“Ren Amamiya” Yaldabaoth said.

“Yeah, that! Ren Amamiya! Do you know anything about it!?”

“Ren Amamiya?” This time a girl’s voice came from the sky. The stars themselves began to move across the heavens, swirling around one point. They reformed themselves into a highly detailed constellation shaped like Hifumi Togo, the girl Amamiya trained his mind with. “Who is looking for Ren Amamiya?”

“This guy is, Star!” The Chariot pointed to Yaldabaoth. “Do you know where I should take him!?”

“I don’t think you should take him anywhere, Chariot.” The Moon looked at Yaldabaoth suspiciously. “This guy looks shifty.”

“Must you always cast such aspersions, Moon?” The Star turned her head towards the Moon. “Why do you even bother shining if you only focus your light on the negative?”

“Somebody’s gotta do it! We can’t all be cheery and see the best in people like the Sun does!” The Moon pouted at the Star. “There are lots of bad people out there. Somebody has to do something about it. We all have to remain vigilant.”

“People will do as they please, both good ones and bad ones” the Star replied. “We must allow them to choose their own paths. In time, they will either find victory or be crushed by life’s hardships.”

“Ugh. I hate it when they get like this.” The Chariot turned to Yaldabaoth. “Effin’ astral beings. Talkin’ like just ‘cuz they look down on everybody that makes ‘em above the rest of us.” He shouted back up at the sky. “Are you guys gonna help me take this guy to the Amamiya thing or what!?”

“Not me!” The Moon turned his nose up at the pair standing on the beach. “I think taking this guy to Ren is a bad idea, and I won’t help you do it!”

“If you are going to refuse to be of assistance, then cease your prattle.” Yaldabaoth was starting to greatly dislike the Moon. It occurred to him that perhaps once he had merged reality and Mementos and risen to full power, he may destroy the real moon just for the catharsis of it. He turned his attention to the Star. “And what of you? Will you tell me where Ren Amamiya is?”

“I certainly could…” The Star gave Yaldabaoth a wry smile. “But that’s not how this game is played.”

“A game, you say?” For the first time in a while, Yaldabaoth smiled in earnest, and not simply to maintain the facade of being Igor. He was fond of games. True, he usually enjoyed tipping the scales in his favor, but the prospect of playing a game conceived by the Trickster was an enjoyable notion, if nothing else. If he could outplay Ren Amamiya in his own world, then he would surely have nothing to fear from him outside of it. “What are the rules?”

“In order to see Ren Amamiya, you must first reach the High Priestess. Only she can take you to him.”

“Oh. Tough luck, dude.” The Chariot looked at Yaldabaoth with pity. “Gettin’ to the High Priestess is a real pain in the ass.”

“Am I to understand that you will not take me to her?” Yaldabaoth’s smile faded.

“I would, but it’s against the rules.” The Chariot sighed. “I can take you lots of places, but you gotta go on a certain path to get to the High Priestess, and I ain’t allowed to help you on it.” The Chariot perked up a bit and gave a half-hearted smile. “I _can_ take you to the start of the path, though!”

“Then let us depart.” Yaldabaoth nodded at the Chariot.

“‘Kay. Gimme a sec!” The Chariot ran back into his cave. He emerged a moment later, pulling an ornately-decorated golden rickshaw behind him. “Hop in!” Yaldabaoth climbed into the rickshaw. The seating was plush and comfortable. Certainly an upgrade from that chair in the Velvet Room. The Chariot directed his attention to the sky again. “Star, could you let ‘em know we’re comin’!?”

“Of course. I shall see you again, challenger!” The constellation condensed into one large star and shot across the night sky, leaving a trail of light behind it.

“Later, Moon!” The Chariot saluted the Moon.

“Whatever.” The Moon just sulked in the sky.

“Hang on tight!” The Chariot took off, running for the sea. He did not sink into the water as he made contact with it. Instead, he ran across its surface at breakneck speed, pulling the rickshaw behind him. As great walls of ocean spray rose in the Chariot’s wake, Yaldabaoth noted how smooth and comfortable the ride was. All in all, he was surprised at just how high quality this mode of transport was, considering the driver. Or perhaps it was because of the driver. Maybe the luxuriousness of the rickshaw combined with the enhanced physique of the young man pulling it reflected how Ren Amamiya truly saw Ryuji Sakamoto: Comfortable and reliable. Somebody he could always count on. A companion truly worth cherishing.

“So, there’s some stuff you should probably know!” The Chariot kept running forward, yelling over his shoulder. “I think you mighta gotten the wrong idea from Star about what’s gonna happen!”

“Enlighten me, then.”

“So, like, for one, it ain’t really a game. It’s more like a trial.” The Chariot frowned. “You’re gonna meet a lot of weird people and go through some shit. I’ve never tried visitin’ the High Priestess myself, but the people who have were never seen again!”

“So, the game is dangerous.” Yaldabaoth chuckled. “I would expect nothing less from the Trickster.”

“I’m just sayin’, man, you still got time to turn back if you want. Right now we’re goin' to the palace, but I can change direction on a dime! Are you sure you wanna go through with this?”

“A palace, you say?” How peculiar. Had Ren Amamiya manifested another world within this world more like a traditional Palace? “Press onwards, Chariot. I am more than suited to the tasks that lie ahead.”

“Alright, dude. But don’t say I didn’t warn ya.” The Chariot picked up speed, the waters behind him practically parting in his wake. Rapidly, a stretch of land came into view over the horizon, getting closer by the second. When they reached the shore, the Chariot stopped suddenly, but the laws of physics did not seem to apply to his ride, and so the end of the journey felt smooth. There was a grass hill not too far away, with a large castle behind it.

At the top of the hill, a torch lit up. Yaldabaoth could make out a small figure in a pointy hat standing next to it.

“Son of a bitch!” The Chariot stomped his foot. “I didn’t think we’d run into that guy.”

“Of whom do you speak?” Yaldabaoth eyed the tiny silhouette with curiosity.

“You’ll see.” The Chariot slowly walked towards the hill, pulling Yaldabaoth behind him. “He’s a real pain in the ass.”


	3. To Humble A God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yaldabaoth learns what it is to sacrifice something.

The Chariot stopped at the top of the hill. There, Yaldabaoth encountered one of the creatures he despised most in existence: Morgana. Yaldabaoth did not know what Morgana was, and that upset him. This creature was not a known factor when the game began, not a part of his design. He was sure that Igor had something to do with the ridiculous thing’s creation, but the old fool had done sloppy work. However Morgana’s existence was meant to thwart Yaldabaoth, the little monstrosity’s amnesia prevented him from fulling his purpose. Still, Yaldabaoth very much wished to skin the cat-like creature, to eradicate its abhorrent existence. He only stayed his hand because he remembered this was not the true Morgana before him. In this world, the small, cat-like being was dressed in a robe and wizard hat, had a long beard trailing all the way to his feet, and carried a small stick that Yaldabaoth assumed to be a magic wand. He glared at the Chariot.

“What are you doing here, you moron!?”

“Cram it, Magician!” It appeared that the Cognitive Ryuji and Morgana got along as well as the real ones did. “I’m doin’ my job! What are you whinin’ about now!?”

“You brought a traveller in the middle of the night!? The night is for sleeping, not tests of worth!” The Magician leapt up and whacked his wand against the Chariot’s hat. “Are you completely without any kind of sense!?” He looked past the Chariot and addressed Yaldabaoth in the rickshaw. “And you! What are you doing starting a journey like this before the sun’s even up!? Old men should not be wandering the world after dark!”

“I am not some feeble old man.” Yaldabaoth stepped out of the rickshaw and glared down at the Magician. “I arrived when I arrived because that happened to be the time that I willed it, and my will becomes manifest. Put an end to your petulance and take me to the High Priestess so I may see Ren Amamiya.”

“Well, somebody thinks highly of himself.” The Magician gave his wand a twirl and a small tornado formed around him, lifting him up in the air. He floated at eye-level with Yaldabaoth, big blue orbs staring cockily into bloodshot facsimiles of features that Yaldabaoth did not possess in his true form. “Even if I wished to fulfill your rude request, that’s not how things work around here. You must prove yourself worthy of meeting the High Priestess.”

“I am worthy of all things and more.”

“Not with that attitude.” The Magician sneered. “Haughtiness like yours will never allow you to reach the High Priestess. She is the most knowledgable being in all the land! You must prove you have the humility to take her words to heart, as well as the strength to reach her and the wisdom to understand her teachings.”

“My power and wisdom are infinite. And as for humility…” Yaldabaoth looked down at his feet in disgust before looking back up at the Magician. “This feeble visage is not who I am in actuality. I have displayed more humility than should ever be required of me by assuming this hideous guise over my true resplendent self.”

“Where did you find this guy?” The Magician gave the Chariot a concerned look.

“Outside a cave.”

“Great…” The Magician sighed and turned back to Yaldabaoth. “There are rituals in place here. If you do not go through with them, you don’t get to see Ren. It’s as simple as that.”

“If that is how it must be, then I will acquiesce to these customs. For now, at least.” Yaldabaoth brought his hands together behind his back. “Strength, wisdom, and humility. Which of these trials is first?”

“The trial of humility has already begun” the Magician replied.

“You’re failin’, by the way.” The Chariot leaned against his rickshaw’s side, picking his nose.

“Don’t listen to him. I’m the arbiter of this trial.” The Magician turned around and headed for the castle near the hill. “Follow me.”

Yaldabaoth nodded and walked behind the Magician. As they approached the castle, Yaldabaoth saw it was surrounded by a moat, but there was no drawbridge. The Magician waved his wand and a wall of water rose from the moat, hardening into a bridge of ice. As they crossed over it, Yaldabaoth noticed a surprised alligator frozen inside the bridge. They passed through the front doors of the castle.

“Does Ren Amamiya rule this palace?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“This is not where you will see him. You won’t meet the High Priestess here either.” The Magician walked towards some large double doors that seemed to lead towards a main hall. “This is the Empress’s castle.”

“So for the test of humility, you would have me bow to this Empress? Show that I know my place in this realm?”

“You will not meet the Empress until it is time for the trial of strength.” The Magician turned to a wall halfway through the hallway and tapped on it with his wand. A secret passageway revealed itself, and the Magician led Yaldabaoth down a dimly-lit set of stone stairs.

The bottom of the stairway led into a dungeon. As Yaldabaoth stepped out of the narrow corridor, the walls closed behind him, sealing off the room. The first thing that stuck out to Yaldabaoth was that although there were a dozen cells in this place, none of them were occupied. In fact, the only presence in the room besides Yaldabaoth and the Magician was a winged figure floating a few feet off the ground at the end of the hallway. Yaldabaoth could make out nothing but their silhouette.

“Temperance!” The Magician cried out to the woman. “The stranger Star told us about has arrived!”

“Hm?” The figure descended to the ground and turned around. As Yaldabaoth approached her, he saw that she resembled Sadayo Kawakami, Ren Amamiya's schoolteacher. Her outfit seemed to be a mix of her usual teacher’s attire and her maid outfit, wearing the same conservative sweater and knee-length skirt she did at school, but in the black and white colors and with some of the frills of her guise as “Becky”. She walked over to Yaldabaoth and looked him in the eyes. He stared right back at her, his expression unwavering. She stepped back and looked down at the Magician and groaned. “You’ve brought a really troublesome one this time.”

“Don’t blame me!” The Magician cast his wind spell again and floated to be eye-level with Temperance. “Blame the Chariot! That moron will bring anybody who shows up outside that cave of his!”

“That’s his job!” Temperance’s wings flared out in anger. “You’re the arbiter of this trial! It is completely within your rights to turn away anybody who seems like they’re more trouble than they’re worth!”

“How can I in good conscience turn away somebody seeking to prove himself? If he’s unworthy, that will become apparent in the trial!”

“What is it about my presence that you find so objectionable?” Yaldabaoth looked at Temperance with curiosity.

“I don’t know what you are exactly, but it’s not normal.” Temperance got a wicked smile on her face. “Luckily, we can fix that.”

“I need no fixing.”

“Well, that’s the thing: You’re an unknown factor. And I can’t let an unknown factor see Ren. There’s just no telling what you’ll do.” Temperance flapped her wings, hovering in the air again. She floated to the side, revealing an open pillory behind her, and gestured to it. “Get in.”

“Why would I allow myself to be bound? What will you do after?”

“If you wish to meet the High Priestess, you must be weakened. You must have the thing that defines you stripped away. Only by making this compromise can we allow you to proceed on your journey.”

“And if I reject this?”

“Then you fail the trial of humility, and nobody will guide you to Ren Amamiya” the Magician said.

“And what if I decide I do not require your guidance?” Yaldabaoth floated into the air of his own power, rising to Temperance’s level. “Should I decide to seek Ren Amamiya on my own, would you stand in my way?”

“Perish the thought” said a sultry female voice from behind Yaldabaoth. He turned around to see a black-robed woman giving him a predatory smile. He could only see the right side of her face under the hood, her left side obscured in shadow, but he recognized the woman as Tae Takemi, the back-alley doctor Ren Amamiya consulted to obtain tonics that allowed him to fight in the Metaverse.

“So good of you to join us, Death.” Temperance glared at her shadowy companion. “We cannot perform this trial without you, you know.”

“If our prideful friend has his way, we may not perform the trial at all.” The frenzied way Death’s eye scanned Yaldabaoth could only be described as hungry. “If he wants to search for Ren on his own, I don’t mind.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Temperance put her hands on her hips. “Even a being as powerful as this one could never find Ren through brute force! The land is too vast!”

“My power is vast as well.” Yaldabaoth scowled at Temperance. “Do not underestimate me. I am capable of all things.”

“You can lie to yourself all you want, but you can’t fool me!” Temperance folded her arms and tilted her nose up at Yaldabaoth. “If you could find Ren Amamiya on your own, you would have done so already!”

“But please, do not let us discourage you from making the effort.” Death lowered her hood, revealing the left side of her head. It was completely without skin. Even though it had no musculature to make expressions with, Yaldabaoth got the distinct impression that the skull was grinning madly at him. “It would be so very fascinating to see you traverse the world like a plague rat, scurrying about wherever you may hoping to find what you’re looking for. I could observe that experiment for _years_.”

“Hmph.” Loathe as Yaldabaoth was to admit it, these haughty women were right. He did not have his full power here. The aspect of himself that existed in the Velvet Room was but an extension of the whole, connected to but separate from the bulk of his power, the Holy Grail lying in the depths of Mementos. This part of him was powerful, certainly powerful enough to subdue Igor and render Lavenza’s very being in twain, but he did not have his full godly might. In this unique cognitive plane of existence, completely severed from his core self, he lacked the omniscience that allowed him to view all of mankind’s folly at once. And he was strong enough to search this world on his own, but he was not certain that Justine could keep the real Ren Amamiya asleep forever. The longer Yaldabaoth lingered in this world, the greater the chance of failure was. He needed to see Ren Amamiya's essence firsthand before his ascension. These trials and arbiters were here for a reason. They would expedite the process. If Yaldabaoth wanted to accomplish his goal, he would have to follow somebody else’s script, abhorrent as the prospect of adhering to a design other than his own was.

“I will subject myself to your trial.” Yaldabaoth descended to the ground and stuck his hands and head in the pillory. Temperance snapped her fingers and the stocks instantly closed around him. She turned to Death, smiling.

“If you would do the honors?”

“With pleasure.” Death rolled up the left sleeve of her robe, revealing a skeletal arm. “I’m going to have to use some extra-strength medicine for this one.” The fingers began to pulse with a black aura. The Magician slowly backed away, clearly unnerved by what was unfolding before him.

Yaldabaoth stared at Death unfazed. He was the God of Control, the almighty entity that would soon rule over the indolent masses. What had he to fear from a cognitive being, a mere apparition?

He got his answer when Death stabbed her fingers into his large forehead. Yaldabaoth felt his power being drained away, and for the first time in his life, he felt pain. Searing, all-encompassing pain. As he felt his almighty essence leaving his body, all of his other senses shut down. He could not see the sadistic glee on the specter stealing away all that he was. He could not hear his own screams, so terrible and pained and the Magician covered his ears and turned away. He could not taste the blood leaving his mouth as his throat rasped beyond what should be humanly possible. There was only the sheer agony of the five tainted spears digging into his skull, transforming him, making him something lesser.

Death retracted her hand with a satisfied smile on her half-face, and the pillory disappeared. As Yaldabaoth collapsed to the ground, he felt a plethora of new experiences. He slowly rose to all fours, feeling the discomfort of boney old knees on hard stone.

“What have you done to me?”

He felt the rushing sensation of blood flowing through his veins, the frantic undulations of a hunk of meat in his chest.

“What have you done to me!?”

He felt the burning of air rapidly flowing in and out of his lungs, the heat of skin contrasting with the cool streams of sweat flowing over it, an aching in his head as he tried to comprehend all of these terrible sensations at once.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME!?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” The Magician floated above Yaldabaoth, observing the fallen god with pity. “You’ve been turned into a human.”

“Impossible!” Yaldabaoth looked up at the Magician, enraged, confused, and frightened. “I am Yaldabaoth! I am the God of Control! I am-“

“Calm yourself.” Temperance knelt down, putting her hands on top of Yaldabaoth’s. A golden light flowed from her body into his. His heart began to slow down to a normal pace, his blood no longer rushing. The lingering pains from his power drain vanished, and his body fell to a comfortable temperature. He felt energy return to him, not his godly powers, but whatever level of energy a normal, healthy human being had. Yaldabaoth no longer felt excess discomfort. The feeling of having a human body was still strange and unpleasant to him, but this would be tolerable. He rose to his feet and gained his composure.

“How can this be?”

“Whatever you are outside of this place, here, you are a visitor, and beholden to the rules of this world’s master.” Temperance spoke more gently than before.

“You mean Ren Amamiya” Yaldabaoth said.

“That’s right.” The Magician smiled at Yaldabaoth. “This is Ren's world. A place where might doesn’t make right. Where the strong don’t get their way just because they’re willing to push other people aside. Here, people help each other. People are not rewarded for amassing power, they are rewarded for their deeds.”

“I see.” Yaldabaoth looked at his hands. He had assumed this form for so long now, but for the first time, they felt real to him. “In this world, humans gain rewards for their effort. And so, in order to accomplish my goals, I must be human for the journey to have meaning.”

“He understands!” Temperance clapped her hands together.

“How long will I remain in this state?”

“Until you reach the end of your journey, or until you leave this world.” Death put her hood back on, showing only the human half of her face. “Whichever comes first.”

“For now, you’ve given up all your powers and your assumptions about yourself” the Magician said. “You have passed the trial of humility. Are you ready for the next part of your journey?”

“I have no time to waste.” Yaldabaoth approached the Magician. “Let us continue.”

“If you insist.” The Magician waved his wand, and the ceiling opened up. The part of the floor he and Yaldabaoth were standing on started to rise, acting as a makeshift elevator. When they completed their ascent, they were once again before the double doors leading to the castle’s main hall.

“It’s time to meet the Empress.”


	4. Coffee and Conquest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yaldabaoth undergoes a trial of strength.

The large double doors opened, revealing a grand hall. The largeness of the room would have made for an excellent place to hold a gala, were it not so sparse. A room with such height could have easily accommodated an entire second story of balconies, but there were none. There were chandeliers, but they hung very close to the ceiling, their light hardly reaching downwards at all. The two main sources of light were torches lining the walls closer to ground level and a large stained glass window depicting a colorful meadow. From the light shining through it, Yaldabaoth had surmised that the sun had risen since he lost his powers, and also that time functioned differently in this world, as Justine surely would have been drained had he spent the entire evening in Ren's world.

The room’s other notable features were another set of giant double doors at the end of the hall, and a large plush ottoman as wide as a banquet table sitting before it. Yaldabaoth guessed that in Ren Amamiya's happy world where nobody lorded their station over each other, the Empress would have comfortable picnic-like meals where everybody would be relaxed and equal to each other, like a less-formal round table. A woman stood before the luxurious seat with her back to Yaldabaoth, wearing an ornate puffy red dress, with a great mass of blonde hair tied in a large updo.

“Wait here” the Magician said. He ran over to the woman on his short legs and started speaking to her. Yaldabaoth could not hear what he was saying from there. At one point the Magician pointed back to him and the woman glanced at him, then returned her attention to the Magician and giggled. When the Magician was done speaking, she bent down and kissed him on the forehead. The woman and the Magician both walked back towards Yaldabaoth. When they reached him, the Magician was tottering as if drunk, an elated look on his face, purring softly. He ignored Yaldabaoth and walked past him, leaving the room, the double doors closing behind him. As he watched the bizarre cat-sorcerer leave, he heard the woman speaking to him.

“The Magician tells me you passed the trial of humility! Congratulations!”

Before Yaldabaoth could turn and respond, he felt a pair of arms holding him in a warm embrace. The hug lingered far longer than most people would be comfortable with, although Yaldabaoth found himself hating the experience after one second. When the woman released her hold on him, he stepped back and saw the face of Ann Takamaki, the model with romantic notions of heroism and villainy alike.

“Are you the Empress?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“No, I’m her lady-in-waiting, the Lover.”

“‘Lover’? Singular?”

“My other half is tending to the Emperor right now.”

“The Emperor does not reside with the Empress?”

“He has his own castle.” The Lover shook her head. “You’ll meet him when it is time for the trial of wisdom.”

“Yes, the trials.” Yaldabaoth looked around the hall. “I understand the Empress conducts the trial of strength. Will she be administering it soon?”

“In due time.” The Lover looked at the stained glass window. “The day is just beginning. The Empress will speak with you after she has had her morning coffee.”

“And how long will that take?”

“The preparation is about to begin now!” The Lover pointed to a wall opening up. A large cart was wheeled out, being pushed by a large black suit of armor with a French armet helm on top of the neck. The table contained a coffee cup as large as Yaldabaoth’s upper body, with a saucer to match. There was a large black container giving off waves of heat at the end of the cart, with a spout sticking out the side and a rope hanging from it. The end of the spout hung directly over the empty coffee cup. The suit of armor reached out at the rope.

“One moment, please!” The Lover called out. The armor stopped and looked at her. She looked at Yaldabaoth, smiling. “Let our guest handle the preparations.”

“You would have me serve coffee?”

“It would help you win the Empress’s favor” the Lover said. The armor nodded in agreement.

“If it will aid in the trial…” Yaldabaoth walked over to the cart and grabbed the rope. He looked to the armor. “Is this correct?” The armor nodded. Yaldabaoth pulled on the rope, but it didn’t budge. He grabbed it with both hands and pulled harder, and a small trickle of coffee began to drip from the spout.

“How long… must I continue this?” Yaldabaoth’s human arms were in incredible pain.

“It'd take less time if you could put more strength into it” the Lover said.

The armor bent over and knocked on its back. Yaldabaoth understood its meaning and turned on his heels, pulling with his back and legs. The trickle of coffee turned into a torrent, and the cup quickly began filling. After ten seconds, Yaldabaoth’s strength gave out, and he let go of the rope, falling to his knees, breathing heavily. The Lover helped him to his feet.

“Is it done?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“Almost.” The Lover led Yaldabaoth back to the cart. He looked at the giant cup, which was filled with enough coffee to drown a man in. She reached under the cart and pulled out a large bag of sugar, which she shoved into Yaldabaoth’s arms. “The Empress takes her coffee with milk and sugar.”

“So be it.” Yaldabaoth nodded and, with some difficulty, tore open the bag of sugar. He dumped the entire bag into the coffee cup and looked at the Lover. “And the milk?”

The armor ran out of the room, into the hole in the wall from whence it came. It returned a moment later, carrying a live, full-grown cow over its left shoulder with one arm. As it reentered the room, the armor ran past the cart where the coffee was being prepared until the free right arm banged on one of the legs, pointing back towards Yaldabaoth. The armor turned around and held the cow over the giant coffee cup with both hands. It turned its helmet to stare at Yaldabaoth. He looked at the cow in disgust, then turned to the Lover.

“Surely this is some manner of jest.”

“The Empress likes her milk fresh” the Lover replied plainly.

Yaldabaoth rolled his eyes and grabbed the teats of the cow’s udder. Having observed humanity for years, he was familiar with the technique of cow-milking, but he was just glad that Igor wore gloves so he did not have to touch the filthy animal directly. It took a few minutes, but eventually the armor took the cow out of the room. The Lover reached under the cart and handed Yaldabaoth a large spoon. He silently took it and began stirring the coffee, letting the milk and sugar disperse throughout the large cup. When the different substances seemed to have blended together thoroughly, he stopped stirring and looked at the Lover.

“Is this satisfactory?”

“Yes.” The Lover took the spoon from Yaldabaoth and returned it to the underside of the cart. A very loud yawn could be heard from the other side of the double doors at the end of the hall. “And just in time, too!”

THUMP.

The ground shook. The armor picked up the saucer holding the coffee cup, balancing it from one end. It held out the other end to Yaldabaoth, who grabbed it to help maintain the balance. Even with the armor’s help, it took every muscle in his body to keep the drink from falling. Between the cup, saucer, and the coffee itself, the entire thing must have weighed at least 100 pounds.

THUMP.

The ground shook again. The Lover stood next to Yaldabaoth, putting her hand on his shoulder and smiling.

THUMP.

The doors opened, and a giant version of Haru Okumura, the girl with a hidden penchant for violence, slowly emerged. She had a calm expression on her face, which was heavily covered in powders and make-up. She wore a large crown on her head, the top of which scraped against the ceiling, knocking against chandeliers as she passed them. The large dress adorning her body was like an ornate frilled tidal wave of pink silk, a brightly-colored wall that seemed as if it was about to swallow Yaldabaoth whole as it rapidly approached.

Before he could lose himself to the fabric, she halted her approach, sitting on what Yaldabaoth had previously believed to be some form of communal seating. That large piece of furniture which could have easily seated a dozen people was completely taken up by this one woman. The armor lifted the coffee cup above its head, and Yaldabaoth had to move quickly to balance it so the scalding liquid wouldn’t spill over onto him.

“Good day, my lady.” The Lover curtsied before the Empress. “Your morning coffee is ready.”

The Empress nodded, her expression dull, and reached out with both hands. One pinched the saucer the coffee cup rested on, while the other snagged the handle in her fingers, and she lifted the burdensome drink from Yaldabaoth’s frame. It took all he had not to collapse in relief. Meanwhile, the armor remained silent and composed.

The Empress extended her pinky finger as she took a sip of the coffee. In an instant, her face lit up. All of the sleepiness left her eyes, and her mouth gracefully shifted into a warm smile. She peered downwards at Yaldabaoth affectionately.

“You have done well, visitor.” Her voice was very loud, though Yaldabaoth got the impression that this was her speaking softly. “Your hard work has resulted in something splendid. You should be proud of yourself.”

“I take it that I have passed the trial of strength?”

“Oh, goodness no.” The Empress giggled demurely. It was still loud enough to hurt Yaldabaoth’s ears. “The ‘strength’ in question does not refer to the potency of a cup of coffee. The trial has yet to begin.”

“Am I to understand that my time has been wasted?”

“Bringing a smile to another’s face is never a waste of time, cranky stranger.” The Empress placed the coffee by her side. “But as you have provided me with something I desire, I suppose it is only fair that I give you what you desire.” The Empress directed her attention to the suit of armor. “Strength, lend him your power.”

The armor nodded and turned to Yaldabaoth. It held its arms out to the side and began to glow. In a flash of light, Yaldabaoth found himself wearing the armor, its form having been altered to fit his body, even the helmet changing shape to accommodate Igor’s massive nose. He also found a sword in his left hand and a shield in the right. He looked to the spot where the armor had been standing previously and found Caroline and Justine, both dressed in fine silks, Caroline sitting on Justine’s shoulders. Each of their single eyes were scanning him with amusement.

“What is this?” Yaldabaoth swung the sword, feeling a rush of power in his arm. This armor gave him a level of energy he’d not had since being brought down to human. Certainly nothing matching his natural godly energies, but he felt superhuman. “Is not the trial of strength a measure of my own power?”

“There is no nobility in possessing great power. It is how you use power that determines your worth.” The Empress took another sip of her coffee. “And so, my new grumpy champion, I am sending you on a quest.”

“What manner of quest?”

“Before you may meet the High Priestess, you must pass the trial of wisdom. To take that trial, you must speak to the Emperor. However, there is an obstacle in the way.” The Empress leaned forward. “Beyond this castle is a wasteland where a great battle once took place. Now it is a plane of death, where no new life grows, and overlooking it is a cliff. It is on top of that cliff where you will find the Emperor’s castle, but the only way to reach the summit is to climb a mighty tower that stands before the cliff. The tower is home to a watchful guardian who lets none complete their ascent.” The Empress tapped the shield in Yaldabaoth’s right hand with her massive fingertip. “If you can use the power we have granted you to get past the tower, you will have completed the trial of strength, and you will be able to see the Emperor.”

“I will conquer this tower you speak of.” Yaldabaoth banged the sword against the shield. “With these armaments, even this feeble human body can achieve greatness.”

“Well, I suppose it’s good that you’re eager.” The Empress shifted her eyes at the Lover. “Would you be a dear and escort him to the wasteland?”

“Of course, my lady.” The Lover walked out of the grand hall, signaling for Yaldabaoth to follow her. They exited the castle’s front entrance, walking around the perimeter of the keep. The moat was gone, and in its place, flowers surrounded the castle for hundreds of feet, thriving in the bright sun. Once they reached the back of the castle, the Lover led him through the fields of flowers. After ten minutes, the colorful blossoms grew more and more sparse, and eventually they reached dead ground where nothing bloomed. The Lover stopped walking and lifted up Yaldabaoth’s helmet.

“This is where we say goodbye.”

“Is it?” Yaldabaoth looked out at the wasteland before him. “I do not see a tower.”

“If you keep walking that way, you will soon.” She looked into his eyes with concern. “Please be careful. The moment you’ll be able to see the tower, its guardian will be able to see you, and he will attack.”

“This watchman sounds rather vigilant.” Yaldabaoth looked out at the vast nothingness ahead of him. “Is there anything else I should be aware of?”

“No. Everything’s as the Empress said. Once you get past the tower, you’ll be able to meet the Emperor and begin your final trial.” The Lover turned away, then quickly turned back. “Oh! I almost forgot something!”

“Speak, then.”

“When you reach the Emperor’s castle, you’ll meet my other half. It’s been so long since we’ve been together. When you see him, will you let him know that I’m thinking about him?”

Yaldabaoth gave no response. He had no time to waste on such frivolities. He lowered his helmet and wandered into the wastes.

* * *

He was not certain how much time had passed since he began his trek across this dead and dreary land. In truth, Yaldabaoth much preferred this scenery to the colorful flowers surrounding the Empress’s castle. The things that humans found joy in did nothing for him. He much preferred the twisted scenery of Mementos, somewhere where his very essence radiated throughout its ever-changing corridors. Still, this nothingness was not unappealing to him. At least it was orderly. There was nothing but him, dry dead dirt, and the light of the sun.

In time, Yaldabaoth came to see the shadow of a tower in the distance. Just past it was a dark mass, though he couldn’t make out much about it.

“That must be the cliff the Empress spoke of.”

“You are aiming for the cliff’s summit?” asked a voice from the sky. Yaldabaoth looked up and saw a worried face in the sun. It belonged to Toranosuke Yoshida, the ridiculous old fool who failed to understand that humans only got ahead in life by looking out for number one. “Are you aware of the danger that lies ahead?”

“I fail to see how my wellbeing is your concern.” Yaldabaoth took a step forward. At a rapid speed, something came at him from a distance, driving itself into the ground in front of him. There was a great impact and a huge cloud of dust kicked up. When the dust settled, Yaldabaoth looked down to see an arrow embedded in the dirt at his feet.

“I would turn around if I were you, sir.” The Sun looked towards the tower. “That boy only gives one warning shot.”

“The guardian of the tower is a child?”

“Oh yes. And quite prodigious at his work too.” The Sun stared at Yaldabaoth’s sword and shield. “If you insist on continuing, it may behoove you to lay down your arms. Perhaps a diplomatic approach could-“

“And render myself defenseless? Do not speak such nonsense to me.” Yaldabaoth walked forward. “This is a trial of strength. I must show strength if I wish to succeed in it.”

Another arrow approached Yaldabaoth. This time he was ready. He raised his shield. As expected, the arrow did not penetrate him. Unexpectedly, the force of the shot was so great that it pushed him backwards, causing him to lose ground.

"Oh my!" The Sun stared at the tower in surprise. "He is especially motivated today!"

“If that is the game the boy wishes to play, then I shall indulge him!” Yaldabaoth began channeling the armor of Strength’s power into his muscles. He charged forward at speeds far surpassing normal human limits. Another arrow came flying at him, which he blocked. It slowed him down a little, but his own force exceeded the arrow’s, allowing him to continue forward. More arrows came, quicker and quicker, and each time Yaldabaoth found himself slowed down slightly more. Soon he was besieged by an unending volley of arrows, which had completely halted his progress.

Yaldabaoth was kneeling on the ground, arrow after arrow plowing into his shield. It was all he could do, even with the extra strength granted by the armor, just to stay in the position he was in. He was only one hundred feet away from the tower now. He could make out the individual stones it was made of, see the smoothness of sheer cliff face it stood in front of.

“How can a mere child be so powerful!?”

“As I told you, the boy is quite prodigious at his work.” The Sun watched the chaos from overhead, clearly displeased by what was unfolding before him. “Perhaps if you engaged in dialogue, you would find yourself able to proceed.”

“Ridiculous! I will not admit defeat at the hands of a human whelp!”

“Then I fear you will not find a way out of this situation. It seems the boy has you pinned down.”

“I did not request your commentary, you useless, no-good ball of gas!”

“‘No-good’? That’s- I- Ah-“ As the Sun stammered, his cheeks began to glow brighter than the rest of him, the remainder of his being following suit. Yaldabaoth could feel the heat through his armor as the Sun’s rays intensified.

“Too bright!” cried a high-pitched voice from the top of the tower. The assault of arrows ended. “My eyes!”

“My goodness!” The Sun’s rays returned to normal. “My apologies, young man! I hope I have not damaged your sight permanently!”

Yaldabaoth looked up at the top of the tower. Through the window he could see a small figure rubbing his eyes. Moreover, he could see the boy’s longbow, currently not in use. An idea came to mind and a wicked grin spread across his face under his helmet. Yaldabaoth wound up his right arm and hurled his shield like a throwing disc. It soared towards the tower’s window and smashed into the bow, snapping it in half.

“My bow! No!”

“Yes!” Yaldabaoth charged towards the tower’s front entrance, ramming through the wooden door at its base. He saw a spiral staircase before him, and began to ascend it, when he heard a series of clunking sounds.

Yaldabaoth paused his ascent to see a series of bombs with lit fuses bouncing down the stairs. The first one reached him and exploded, setting off the rest. Yaldabaoth was thrown back down the stairs and out the front door by the explosion, his helmet falling off in the process. When he rose to his feet, he could see through the hole where the front door had been that the staircase has been destroyed.

“Do you believe this will stop me!? I am Yaldabaoth! I am the God of Control!” Yaldabaoth jumped at the tower’s exterior wall, sticking his sword into the stone. Hanging from the blade’s hilt, he swung his legs upwards to gain some footing against the wall and swiftly pulled out his sword and stuck it in a higher spot. “I will not be denied by the likes of you!”

“Go away!” A cauldron slowly appeared from over the windowsill above Yaldabaoth. As he stared upwards, it began to tilt, boiling hot tar pouring from it. Thinking quickly, Yaldabaoth removed the sword from the tower’s wall and stuck his free hand in the improvised handhold its absence created. He swung the sword with all his might into the tower wall, creating a crack that caused a large portion of the stone to fall off, creating cracks that diverted the flow of the tar. With the counter-measure to his invasion defeated, Yaldabaoth continued climbing the tower’s wall, curiously meeting no further resistance as he made his upwards journey.

When Yaldabaoth reached the window, he saw the boy who would be guardian waiting for him at the other side of the room. Now that he was close enough, he could see it was Shinya Oda, the competitive child Ren Amamiya wasted his time and great powers helping with his mother’s harsh attitude.

“Get out of here!” The boy punctuated his command with a volley of throwing knives. Yaldabaoth jumped through the window, parrying the blades with his sword. He rushed at the boy, swinging for his head, but the child ducked and rolled under his attack. Yaldabaoth chased the tower’s guardian around the room for a minute, but the chase came to an end when the boy tripped over the shield that Yaldabaoth had tossed at him earlier. He frantically grabbed it and held it above his head, cowering behind it.

Yaldabaoth took in the sight with sadistic glee. Since entering this world, he had been disrespected, been treated with far too much familiarity by too many beings below him, lectured, insulted, had his very essence violated, forced to play servant, and made to face overwhelming force. But now, he was in a position of power. He could finally wipe out one of these cognitive nuisances that plagued him so. With his superior strength, he tore the shield out of the boy’s hand and raised his sword.

“THAT IS ENOUGH” bellowed a mighty and familiar voice.

Before Yaldabaoth could smite the child before him, a giant hand crashed through the wall of the tower and wrapped its fingers around his body. He found himself unable to move, lifted up before the face of a very angry Empress, who was now even larger than she had been in her grand hall.

“Release me!” Yaldabaoth struggled futilely in the giant’s grasp. “I must finish the battle!”

“The battle is over.” The Empress’s stern voice was almost deafening. “The boy is defeated. You have cleared the tower.”

“No! I must slay my foe! His existence must come to an end by my own strength!”

“You still do not understand.” The Empress put Yaldabaoth down on the edge of the cliff. As she released her grip on him, his armor and weapons disappeared, along with his sense of enhanced strength. “Strength comes in many forms. It is not solely measured by your power to eliminate all that stands in your way. Sometimes true strength is in having the power not to fight.”

“Not fight? Are you mad?” Yaldabaoth pointed at the tower guardian, who was glaring at him. “The boy assaulted me with projectile weaponry!”

“You were coming at my tower with weapons!” the boy protested. “I was defending myself!”

“You claim self-defense!?”

“CEASE THIS ARGUING!” The Empress’s command echoed for miles. She looked at Yaldabaoth with a mix of sadness and disdain. “As I have stated, you have cleared the tower. I do not personally believe you are worthy to see Ren Amamiya, but I cannot deny that you have overcome the challenge placed before you.” The Empress pointed her massive finger towards the lands behind the cliff’s edge. Yaldabaoth turned around and saw a traditional Japanese castle surrounded by swirling cherry blossoms. “That is the Emperor’s castle. Continue your journey and do not return this way.”

“Nothing would make me gladder.” Yaldabaoth turned away from the Empress and started walking towards the castle. Once there was some distance between him and the Empress, she held her outstretched palm before the tower’s guardian.

“Come along, dear boy. I will see to it that you are housed until your tower can be repaired.”

“Thank you, Empress.” The boy stepped into her hand, and she turned around and headed back towards her own castle surrounded by flowers.

“I hope you will enjoy your stay at my castle. Tell me, do you like coffee?”

“Blech.” The boy stuck out his tongue. "Coffee's gross."

“Is that what you think?” The Empress giggled. “We’ll just have to fix that, won’t we?”


	5. Wordplay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yaldabaoth goes through the trial of wisdom.

With the Empress’s self-righteous lecture behind him, Yaldabaoth continued to the structure ahead of him. It was a traditional Japanese castle constructed from wood and stone, like those from the days of the feudal era. As he got closer, he noticed something bizarre about it. The castle and the land surrounding it did not look like the rest of the world he’d travelled through so far. Everything looked artificial. The colors were all bright, with odd shadows. Light did not bend naturally around objects. In reality, outlines were more of an optical illusion, but here, everything had bold black outlines. As he neared the castle, he found himself in the middle of the unending rain of cherry blossoms that surrounded it. They swayed to and fro in the air, but none of them ever actually made contact with him, even when he stood perfectly still. They always danced away in the air, avoiding his body. Yaldabaoth reached out and plucked a cherry blossom from the air, looking at it closely. It had the same bizarre aesthetic as the ground he was walking on, the clouds in the sky, and the castle. It was also different from a real cherry blossom in that it seemed rigid instead of soft, somewhat like paper. But unlike paper, it seemed very brittle. Yaldabaoth pinched the pink thing between his fingers and instead of crumpling, it completely shattered, leaving behind bits of residue on his glove.

Yaldabaoth realized that he was walking through a three-dimensional painting. He had a good idea of what form the Emperor was going to take. As he approached the castle’s front gate, it opened on its own, and behind it stood a man in a bright red kimono looking at him expectantly. The man had very elegant features, practically feminine. His eyes were a bright green, and his blonde hair was done in a short topknot.

“Welcome” the man said, bowing. His voice sounded familiar, but Yaldabaoth couldn’t tell from where. “The Emperor has been expecting you.”

“Then lead me to him.”

“Of course. We will begin the trial of wisdom immediately.” The man walked into the castle, Yaldabaoth following behind him.

“What does this trial entail, exactly?”

“This trial will be a test of your presence of mind and your ability to relate to others.”

“In what way?”

“Well, telling you would defeat the purpose.” The man chuckled softly. “I’ll let you know this much: The Emperor has a very particular way of speaking. You must address him similarly if you wish to get anywhere with him.”

The man led Yaldabaoth into a room where, as Yaldabaoth expected, Yusuke Kitagawa was waiting for him. He was dressed in a snow-white kimono and had his blue hair in a topknot of its own. Unlike the Empress, he was not a giant, but normally-sized. Yaldabaoth was also surprised to see that instead of a large throne room, he was standing in a small room with a simple table in the middle.

“I’m the Emperor. I welcome you to my home” he said. He gestured to the table, which was low and had cushions on the floor. “Please, let us both sit.” The Emperor got on his knees on the cushion on his side of the table. Yaldabaoth followed suit. At least this figment wasn’t so audacious to make him play servant or look down at him.

“You’ve travelled quite far” the Emperor said. “I'm sure you’ve many new thoughts. Let us discuss them.”

Yaldabaoth said nothing. There was definitely something odd about the Emperor’s manner of speech, but he couldn’t quite pin it down. He was trying to decipher the mystery, lest he fail the trial of wisdom.

“Not feeling chatty?” The Emperor smiled at Yaldabaoth. “That is understandable. Please, collect your thoughts.”

“Pardon me, Emperor” said the blonde man. “Will you be requiring anything else?”

“Please bring us some tea. Perhaps it will calm our guest, and loosen his tongue.”

“Of course.” The man left the room. Yaldabaoth sat across from the Emperor, reflecting in silence on all the things he had said so far. His speech patterns were very much unlike the real Yusuke Kitagawa. Where the ludicrous artist that Ren Amamiya spent his time with spoke in long, flowery sentences, the Emperor’s words were short and to the point. He was speaking conservatively, as if words were a limited resource. There must be some kind of pattern…

Of course. There _was_ a pattern. A very old, very familiar one. Five, seven five. The Emperor was speaking in haiku.

How inane.

“Your tea, Emperor.” The blonde man returned suddenly, resting a tray with a teapot and two cups on the table. He poured green tea into each cup and placed them before Yaldabaoth and the Emperor. The Emperor took a sip and gave a pleased smile to his servant.

“It’s quite refreshing. And delicious as always. I thank you, Lover.”

“Ah, I see.” Yaldabaoth looked up at the man. On closer scrutiny, he appeared to be a male version of Ann Takamaki. Even his voice was like a deeper version of her natural cadence. “So you are the Lover’s other half.”

“You’ve met my beloved?” The Lover’s face lit up. “How is she? Did she mention me? Is there anything I should know?”

“Nothing of any import” Yaldabaoth said. He ignored the frown on the Lover’s face and looked back to the Emperor, who was also frowning at him. It occurred to Yaldabaoth that the trial had already started, and he was supposed to be speaking haiku. He only hoped this one error would not damn him to failure. Perhaps it could still be salvaged.

“I seek the boy, Ren" Yaldabaoth said. “Tell me where the Priestess is. I have little time.”

“You have travelled far.” The Emperor’s frown vanished. He wasn't smiling, but his expression was neutral now. Adopting his preposterous method of communication seemed to appease him a bit. “What do you think of this land? Have you learned something?”

“I dislike this world” Yaldabaoth replied. “My true nature is denied. Here, I am not me.”

“Isn’t that just life? Not all are compatible. Sometimes we must act.”

“I have been acting.” Yaldabaoth looked at his reflection in his tea, seeing Igor’s face staring back at him. “It’s part of my grand design. It’s been so long now.”

“Yes, for _your_ design.” The Emperor stared daggers into Yaldabaoth’s eyes. “But what of other people? Their feelings matter.”

“They’ll get what they want. When I’ve risen to full strength, they’ll be pacified.”

“Is that what they want?” The Emperor took another sip of tea. “People have purpose in life. You’d take that away?”

“They have asked me to. They wish to have no burdens. They are small and weak.”

“And that makes you strong? You’ll shoulder all their burdens? You’d suffer for them?”

“I can’t be burdened. They will be ignorant drones. And I will rule them.”

“You’ve not touched your drink.” The Emperor stared at Yaldabaoth’s full tea cup. “Is tea not to your liking? Care for something else?”

“I don’t eat or drink. I need no creature comforts. I am not human.”

“Yes, I see that now.” The Emperor rose from the table. “Our discussion here is done. You may leave this place.”

“Have I passed your trial?” Yaldabaoth stood up, glad to be off his knees. These Japanese customs were beneath him. The Emperor turned to the Lover.

“Take him to the wheel. His journey goes on from there.” The Emperor turned back to Yaldabaoth. “May luck favor you.”

The Lover led Yaldabaoth past the Emperor, through a back entrance to the room. He found himself outside the castle, at a crossroads leading down three paths. Each path led to a mountain. One mountain was surrounded by dark clouds, thunder and lighting falling on top of it. One mountain was a volcano, bubbling at the top, seeming ready to burst at any time. The third mountain was frozen over, heavy snow falling upon it.

“What is this?” Yaldabaoth looked out at the mountains. “Where is the High Priestess?”

“The High Priestess?” The Lover stared at Yaldabaoth in confusion. “You didn’t really expect to find her here, did you?"

“Have I not completed the trials!?” Yaldabaoth glared at the Lover. “I humbled myself by allowing my powers to be taken! I proved my strength by conquering the tower! I became wise to the Emperor’s game and played it flawlessly! Take me to the High Priestess! I have earned my reward!”

“You wish to see the High Priestess?” A woman appeared out of thin air before Yaldabaoth and the Lover, along with a large wooden circle, which blocked out the view of the mountains. It was Chihaya Mifune, the seer whose abilities Ren Amamiya criminally misused. “I wonder, is that truly your fate?”

“Hello, Fortune” the Lover said.

“‘Fortune’, you say?” Yaldabaoth turned to the woman. “Does this mean you know all things?”

“Something like that” Fortune responded.

“Then tell me where the High Priestess is. Let me bring an end to this folly.”

“The High Priestess’s location changes regularly. Her temple is never in one place for long.” A series of handles sprouted from the wooden circle, making it resemble the helm of a ship. “If you spin my wheel, it will reveal your path.”

“Then let us get this over with.” Yaldabaoth grabbed two of the handles and gave the wheel a spin. Its center turned into a glowing circle. As the turning wheel began to slow, an image began to materialize. Yaldabaoth beheld the snow-covered mountain that was currently being obscured by the wheel.

“Oh my.” Fortune reached her hand into the image, causing it to distort and shimmer. When she retracted her arm, she was holding a black scarf. She held it out to Yaldabaoth. “It seems you’re going to need this.”

“I do not require your charity” Yaldabaoth said scornfully.

“Uh-huh.” Fortune cocked her eyebrow, and her demeanor took a drastic shift. She seemed riled up all of a sudden. “This is yer first time bein’ human, ain’t it? Meanin’ you’ve never experienced extreme cold before. Now, Ah ain’t tryin’ to impede yer right to have a new experience. Ah reckon if ya wanna freeze to death, that’s yer prerogative. But if ya wanna survive the night, Ah suggest you quit bein’ so stubborn an’ take the dang scarf!”

“Hmmph.” Yaldabaoth took the scarf and lazily wrapped it around his neck. The fewer human discomforts he was forced to endure, the better.

“There you go." Fortune returned to her previous serene expression. "Pride is such a burdensome thing. You’re much better off discarding it.” Fortune and her wheel faded away into the nothing from whence they came. As Yaldabaoth regained the ability to see the horizon beyond him, two of the paths previously available had disappeared. Now there was the single road leading to the snowy mountain. The sun was beginning to lower in the sky as well. Yaldabaoth decided to embark while he still had some light.

* * *

The bitter winds had long since ceased nipping away at Yaldabaoth’s face. After enduring the blizzard for so long, his skin had reddened and gone numb. Every step he took through the knee-deep snow was laborious, every breath he took an increasingly-difficult task. His muscles were so worn out, and yet, he kept moving. Yaldabaoth was not certain if he could meet his end in this world. It did not exist on its own, like a true Palace did. It had been born of Yaldabaoth’s own power, a human’s cognition brute-forced into becoming an explorable realm by the power of a god. If the god were to fall in the world, it was likely that before he could perish, the world itself would collapse, and he would wind up back in the Velvet Room.

But that would mean failure. And failure was unacceptable to Yaldabaoth. He may have been temporarily reduced to human limits, but he was still a god. And not just any kind of god, the God of Control. He was the highest power, the great planner, the being who wrote the script for the world to follow. Failure was less than an option. Failure was a contradiction to all that Yaldabaoth was. And so, through burning lungs, and fatigued legs, and the darkness of the night, and the seemingly-endless snow, he persisted. Yaldabaoth would not fall. He was not capable of falling. For he was Yaldabaoth, and Yaldabaoth would always win. This single truth allowed him to keep wandering the frozen slopes of this miserable mountain.

“This is inhumane” said a woman’s voice.

The blizzard came to a sudden halt. For the first time in what felt like hours, Yaldabaoth could see light again. The stars in the sky had once again assumed the form of Hifumi Togo and were speaking to him.

“You’re lucky I don’t like to see others lost. The Moon would’ve left you to become a popsicle” she said.

“What are you talking about?” Yaldabaoth held his arms together over his chest, shivering.

“You have been set on the wrong path” the Star answered.

“I have been deceived?” Yaldabaoth would have laughed had he not felt so weak. “I did not think the beings of this world were capable of deception.”

“Technically, I’m supposed to leave you to your icy fate, but it goes against my nature.” The Star’s constellation mouth reshaped its many lights into a frown. “I do not believe in rigging games. There is no honor in victory over an opponent who has been sabotaged.”

“Are you here to lead me out of this frozen hell, then?”

“I am.” The Star extended her arm, which broke apart into individual stars again. They formed a trail pointing Yaldabaoth to the east. “Follow the path I have set for you and you will find safety. If you are to fail in your journey, I would prefer for it to be a fair loss.”

Yaldabaoth scoffed at the idea that he could be brought down by these lesser beings, even if they did implement foul play. Still, the notion of ending this chilling torment was appealing to him, so he wordlessly followed the Star’s instructions. The trail of light she left in the sky led him to a cave on the mountain’s side. Yaldabaoth could see the light of a flame from inside the cave, and wandered in.

The sides of the cave were lit by torches, and there was a large boulder of ice sitting in the back. Most notable, however, was a large stalactite of ice hanging from the ceiling. On its own, the stalactite wasn’t impressive, but the frostbitten body suspended from it was. Skin blackened by the ruthless cold, the corpse was held above the ground by a single foot that had been frozen over inside the tip of the large icicle. Yaldabaoth stepped closer to the dead man, taking a look at his face. It was hard to tell due to the discoloration, but he seemed to resemble the weapons dealer Munehisa Iwai.

And then his eyelids opened, revealing bloody red eyes.

“Get outta my face” he said in that same old gruff voice of his.

“The Hanged Man, I presume?” Yaldabaoth did not listen to his demand.

“Yeah. What’s it to ya?”

“Less than nothing.”

“Whatever.” The Hanged Man gave Yaldabaoth a cocky smile. “Didn’t think you’d show up.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Black scarf. Means you failed the trial of wisdom.”

“Failure?” Yaldabaoth took out the scarf and held it in front of his face. “But I indulged the Emperor in his ridiculous game of words.”

“Yeah, but you spurned the Lover, right?”

“What?”

“The girl half of the lover wanted you to say hi to the guy half, yeah?” The Hanged Man pointed at the scarf in Yaldabaoth’s hands. “That black’s a reflection of your heart. Means you didn’t do it.”

“It was not important.”

“It was to them. Those two kids’re meant to be together, but kept apart. Wouldn’t’ve costed you anythin’ to show ‘em a little kindness.”

“And that was enough to decide I lack wisdom? To condemn me to a frozen death? The punishment does not seem proportionate to the crime.”

“Yeah, but it’s like, y’know…” The Hanged Man scratched his head. “You treat folks like crap unless they can do somethin’ for ya. You act like they’re disposable, and sooner or later, they’re gonna be the ones discardin’ you, yeah? Don’t take a genius to know that people’ll be kinder to you if you show ‘em you’re worth it. Wisdom ain't about bein' rigid. It's about bein' open to learnin' new behaviors and bein' part of the world.”

“With all this talk of compassion, I am surprised to find that such malice can be found in this world.” Yaldabaoth let the scarf go, allowing it to hit the cave floor. “Should you not be espousing the virtues of forgiveness?”

“Some folks are just bad. Toxic. Gotta cut ‘em outta your life.” The Hanged Man yawned. “’S’not like Ren believes in just lettin’ bad folks walk all over him.”

“Ren Amamiya, yes. Is he here? Is this cave where I can find the High Priestess?”

“Nah. This is where the Hermit lives. But she can get you to the High Priestess if you’re willin’ to play her game.”

“I grow weary of this nonsense.”

“Sucks for you. This ain’t your world. You may not like the rules here, but that don’t mean they ain’t in place.” The Hanged Man looked behind him at the boulder in the back of the cave. It melted, revealing another tunnel. “That’s where you'll find her. You can put up with her nonsense or go back outside and freeze your ass off. I don’t care which. I’m goin’ back to sleep.”

The Hanged Man shut his eyes. Yaldabaoth stared at him for a moment before turning his attention to the new passage in the cavern. Begrudgingly, he stepped into the darkness once more.


	6. Ren Amamiya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yaldabaoth finally finds what he's looking for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains some imagery of suicide. I figure since most people reading this should've actually played P5 that's probably something you can handle, but just letting you know now.

Yaldabaoth walked through the darkness for some time. The cave was cold. Not as cold as the blizzard, but still far from comfortable. The temperature difference was enough for his body to start to warm up, although he hardly enjoyed the experience. The numbness in his face began to wear off, but instead he started getting a sensation he believed humans refer to as “pins and needles”. It was thoroughly unpleasant. By the time the sensation had worn off, Yaldabaoth found his path had been cut off when his foot bumped into something ahead in front of him. He extended his arms, grasping around in the darkness, and felt a wooden door through Igor’s thin gloves. He pawed at the door until he found a knob. Turning the knob, the door opened inward, and his eyes were blinded by green lights.

When his eyes began to adjust, Yaldabaoth saw that this section of the cave had the ceiling completely covered in bioluminescent moss. It provided enough light for him to see a man sitting at a table, reading a book. It was Sojiro Sakura, Ren's caretaker, dressed as a priest. As Yaldabaoth stepped further into the room, he turned to him and stood up.

“What the- Who are you!?”

“Somebody seeking the Hermit.” Yaldabaoth approached the bearded man. “Are you he?”

“Right, like I’m gonna let some menacing guy like you meet the Hermit. Get out of here!”

“Hierophaaaannnnt…” A young woman appeared from another door in the back of the room. It was a haggard, wart-covered, long-nailed, rag-clad version of Futaba Sakura, the rare human who had a Palace not born of ill intent. “What’s all the noise?”

“Go back to sleep, Hermit.” The Hierophant glared at Yaldabaoth. “This guy was just leaving.”

“I will do no such thing.” Yaldabaoth looked past the Hierophant and directly at the Hermit. “I seek the High Priestess. Tell me how to reach her.”

“You don’t talk to her.” The Hierophant got in Yaldabaoth’s face. “The Hermit knows how to reach the High Priestess, who takes people to Ren. I’m not letting anybody I don’t trust near either of them.”

“I have come too far and endured too many inanities to be denied.” Yaldabaoth’s hands balled into fists. “Remove yourself from my path or I shall do it myself.”

“You wanna go, you old geezer!?” The Hierophant rolled up his sleeves. “I made an oath to protect these people! I’m not afraid to throw you out into the cold on your ass!”

“Hierophant, cut it out!” The Hermit walked over to the table, placing a stone tablet on its surface. “He’s already made it this far. We might as well give him a chance.”

“Hermit! Are you sure about this?” The Hierophant turned to her, pointing at Yaldabaoth’s face. “Just look at this guy! Do you really want to let him reach the temple?”

“Relax.” The Hermit stood on a chair at the table and crouched down. “He still has to play my game.”

“Excellent.” Yaldabaoth pushed past the Hierophant and sat down at the table. “Tell me the rules of this game.”

“You’ll figure it out as we go along.” The Hermit waved her hand over the stone tablet. It glowed and projected an image of a forest. She waved her hand again and the forest caught fire. “Solve this problem.”

“An easy task.” Yaldabaoth raised his hand over the tablet and rainclouds appeared, putting out the flames.

“Hey! Cheater!” The Hermit pointed a long-nailed finger at Yaldabaoth. “You can’t do that!”

“And why is that?”

“Because it’s impossible! You can’t just make rain!”

“I am a god. All things may happen by my will.”

“Ok, let me rephrase this.” The Hermit waved her hand the forest caught fire again. “Solve this as a human would.”

“How trivial.” Yaldabaoth waved his hand and a small plane flew overhead spraying water on the forest, dousing the flames. “Is that solution satisfactory?”

“Yup.” The Hermit waved her hand again, and an image of a diver swimming away from a ravenous shark appeared. “Now solve this problem.”

“Simple.” Yaldabaoth waved his hand and a speargun appeared in the man’s hands. The man shot the shark, spearing it through the brain.

“That’ll do. Now for something more complicated.” The Hermit changed the picture to something more elaborate. There was a man sitting typing at a computer. A sign on the wall read “Mizuno Advertising Agency Grand Opening”. There was a radiator near him glowing orange. The glow faded. Then Mizuno’s breath could be seen. Then Mizuno was wearing multiple layers, shivering. The Hermit looked up at Yaldabaoth. “Solve this man's problem.”

“It is not complicated at all.” Yaldabaoth waved his hand over the image. Mizuno dialed the phone on his desk. Sooner after, two men came in and tore the radiator out of the wall. They brought in a new radiator and began installing it in its place.

“Just one problem with that” the Hermit said. One of the men handed Mizuno an envelope that said “BILL” in big red letters on it. Mizuno opened the envelope and a look of despair appeared on his face. The image cut to Mizuno sadly walking away from the office, a large “CLOSED” sign on the door.

“There is a simple solution.” Yaldabaoth waved his hand and reset the scene. This time, a single man came in and repaired the broken radiator.

“I wouldn’t be so su-ure…” the Hermit said in a sing-song fashion. Once again, the repairman handed Mizuno a bill he couldn’t pay and his business shut down.

“This ‘Mizuno’ lacks the capital for even a simple appliance repair?” Yaldabaoth gave the Hermit a look of dull annoyance.

“‘Fraid so.”

“Then his problem is being in business at all. He should not have started a company if he did not have the resources to deal with such a minor problem.”

“I mean, I don’t disagree with you, but it’s the situation he’s in.” The Hermit smirked. “So, how can he fix it? How does he get the heat back in his office without going under?”

“Hmm…” Yaldabaoth rubbed his chin. “Perhaps…” He waved his hand once more. The scene reset. Once again, a single repairman came into the room. Instead of getting to work, Mizuno got up from his desk and talked to the man. The repairman nodded and the two shook hands. The repairman worked on the radiator and it started emitting heat again. Mizuno smiled and took off his extra layers. The vision panned around to show Mizuno’s computer screen. There was a photoshop file where he was putting together an advertisement featuring a photo of the repairman.

“An exchange of services, huh?” The Hermit snickered. “It’s kinda archaic, but not impossible, I guess. Not bad. One more.” The Hermit’s smiled disappeared. As she waved her hand, a familiar scene appeared between the two: A schoolgirl standing at the edge of a roof, about to jump. “Solve her problem.”

“Very well.” Yaldabaoth waved his hand and a large airbag like the kind used in Hollywood stunts appeared at the bottom of the school.

“Are you even trying!?” The Hermit rolled her eyes. “Ignoring the implausibility of setting that up before she jumps, it’s hardly a foolproof solution.” The Hermit waved her hand. The schoolgirl ran to another side of the roof and jumped off. The Hermit glared at Yaldabaoth. “Try again!”

Yaldabaoth grunted and waved his hand. The scene reset, and a man appeared on the roof, running to grab the girl.

“That hardly ever works” the Hermit said sadly. The girl turned around, saw the man running at her, and jumped. “Try again.” The scene reset.

“So, it would seem the trick is to subdue her without her notice. I require a way to herd her from the roof’s edge.” A smirk came to Yaldabaoth’s face as he waved his hand again. The man appeared on the roof again, but this time had a rope. He tied a loop in it and lassoed the girl, tugging and causing her to fall on her side away from the roof’s edge. While she was stunned, the man ran over, grabbed her, and started dragging her away.

“Well, uh... Points for creativity…” The Hermit sighed. “But it’s still no good.”

“What do you mean?” Yaldabaoth looked up at the Hermit. “The goal was to prevent her from jumping off the roof, was it not?”

“I mean, that’s part of it. But…” The Hermit waved her hand. The scene continued. Pages fell off a calendar, signaling a week’s passing. The schoolgirl was in another location, crying into a mirror. She picked up a bottle of sleeping pills and swallowed its contents whole. She collapsed immediately after.

“The exercise is to stop the girl from killing herself ever?” Yaldabaoth’s voice was clearly annoyed. “You should have stated so from the beginning.”

“Oh yeah?” The Hermit looked at Yaldabaoth with a raised eyebrow. “What would you do if you knew that?”

“This.” Yaldabaoth waved his hand once again. The scene reset and the man appeared again. He walked over to the girl slowly, speaking to her. She turned around, one foot shifting back. The man continued speaking and held out his hand. The girl stepped forward, putting her hand in his, and the two walked away together.

“Not good enough” the Hermit said.

“Counseling the girl is inadequate now?”

“You can’t just say ‘I talk to her and fix her problems’. That’s god modding.” The Hermit raised her hand to Yaldabaoth’s face, and it started glowing. “What do you actually say to her?”

Yaldabaoth found himself transported inside the scene. He was standing on the roof, the girl standing at the edge. He slowly began approaching her.

“Do you truly intend to jump?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“Huh!?” The girl turned around and looked at Yaldabaoth. “Who are you!?”

“My identity is of no consequence. Step away from the roof’s edge.”

“What’s the point!?” Tears started to flow from the girl’s eyes. “My existence is worthless! I get poor grades, so I’m a burden to my parents! I spend all this extra time studying to try and make up for it, so all my friends have left me behind! And the boy I like doesn’t even know I exist! Why shouldn’t I end it all right now!?”

“Do you truly believe that your loved ones would not be upset by your passing?”

“Huh?”

“You believe you are a burden on your family. But would your death truly come as a relief to them?” Yaldabaoth took a few more steps towards the girl. “Do you believe your mother and father are completely without love for you? Were you to die, do you believe they would feel their lives had improved? Or is it more likely that they would be stricken with grief, agonizing over the loss of their daughter, blaming themselves for being failures as parents? Would not your death bring them immeasurable pain?”

“I… I don’t-“ The girl hung her head low, tears continuing to fall. “I didn’t think of it like that.”

“Leave this rooftop. Return to your family. Take comfort in their love. Your current situation is temporary. Your life will offer many opportunities for change.” Yaldabaoth turned away from the girl and started to walk away, then paused. “You may also find it beneficial for you to seek aid from a mental health professional.”

“Ok.” The girl slowly walked past Yaldabaoth, leaving the rooftop. A spectral image of the Hermit appeared before him.

“That was surprisingly caring of you” the Hermit said.

“I simply stated truths. Human beings find strength and meaning in their relationships with each other.” Yaldabaoth shook his head. “Since arriving in this world, I have been continually treated as if I am blind to this fact, but that is not the case. It is simply not a principle that applies to my existence, because I am not a human being.”

“I see.” The Hermit looked at the stairway the girl had disappeared into. “But I don’t think you’re as insightful as you think you are.”

“Tell me what you wish to say. Do not speak in vagaries to me.”

“Alright.” The Hermit spread out her arms and the scene changed. Yaldabaoth and the Hermit were both spectral now, watching an adult man and woman speaking to each other sadly in a kitchen.

“I just don’t understand it” the woman said. “It’s been three months and nothing’s been solved. Her mood is still so dour, and she’s still doing so poorly in school!”

“This is not an easily solved problem” the man said. “We just have to give it time.”

“I don’t know how much longer I can take this” the woman said. She began crying into her hands.

“What is this?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“Look.” The Hermit pointed to the door to the room. The schoolgirl from before was spying on the conversation, a horrified look on her face. “And so, soon enough…” The Hermit spread out her arms again. The scene changed once more. The man and woman were standing over a grave, crying.

There was a flash of light, and Yaldabaoth and the Hermit were once again sitting around the table.

“I am beginning to think that this is a trick question” Yaldabaoth said.

“You’re right.” The Hermit removed the stone tablet from the table. “This is one of the cruelest realities of being human. Sometimes, there’s no solution. We try and try, but we still fail. We can say everything right, do everything right, and things can still go bad because of circumstances outside of our control.”

“So there truly is no solution to this dilemma. My time has been wasted.”

“If that’s how you feel.” The Hermit looked at the Hierophant, who was standing in the corner of the room. “It’s time for him to go to the temple.”

“You can’t be serious!” The Hierophant stomped his foot. “Have you heard anything he’s said!? He’s heartless! Who knows what he’d do to the High Priestess!?”

“The High Priestess is not the only one at the temple.”

“You are referring to Ren Amamiya?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“No.” The Hermit smiled at the Hierophant. “Hierophant, the coffee, please.”

“Fine.” The Hierophant reached into his robe and pulled out a thermos. He walked over to the table and placed it in front of Yaldabaoth. “Close your eyes and drink this.”

“Very well.” Yaldabaoth picked up the thermos, opened it, and shut his eyes. He took a sip of the coffee within. The flavor was revolting to him, but he forced himself to swallow it. He felt a shift in the atmosphere, the air around him feeling much warmer. Yaldabaoth opened his eyes to find himself standing in the desert sun. Before him stood a large temple, similar to a cathedral, but with bizarre spires that seemed to resemble the skyline of Tokyo.

“You finally made it!”

Yaldabaoth turned around to see a nun standing behind him. Beneath her habit, he could make out the face of Ichiko Ohya, the alcoholic reporter.

“Welcome” she said with a warm smile on her face. “I am the High Priestess.”

“No you are not” Yaldabaoth said plainly.

“You’re right.” Her warm smile turned devious. “I bet you’ve probably figured out who she really is, huh?”

“I have deciphered your true form as well.”

“Great. Then I can take this stuffy crap off.” The woman shed her outfit, revealing bat-like wings, horns, and a pointy tail. Her skin turned red. “I’m-“

“The Devil.” Yaldabaoth tapped his foot impatiently. “What do you want with me?”

“I want to give you a gift.”

“And why should I make a deal with the Devil?”

“You know what’s in that temple.” The Devil put her hands on her hips. “Do you really think there isn’t some last-minute piece of bullshit designed to frustrate you? Wouldn’t you like to circumvent it?”

“That depends on the method of circumvention.”

“Well, you’ve been wandering through this place stripped of everything that makes you who you are, right?” The Devil held out her hand palm-side up, and a sphere of golden light appeared in it. Yaldabaoth’s eyes widened. He was all too familiar with the energy the sphere was emitting.

“Is that what I believe it to be?”

“Yup.” The Devil held the sphere out to Yaldabaoth. “Your powers. Reclaimed from Death herself.”

“How can I possibly trust you? How do I know that I will not face some arduous task if I enter the temple having accepted this gift?”

“Oh, you most definitely will. But if this is as potent as I think it is…” The Devil held the sphere up to her nose and took a deep sniff. An ecstatic look appeared on her face. “Then that shouldn’t be a problem.”

“This is too good to be true.”

“Here’s the deal, pal. I don’t like you. I may not get along with everyone else here, but your presence in this world is an affront to all the core beliefs it’s built on, even mine. I just want you out of here.” The Devil once again held the sphere out to Yaldabaoth. “So take your crap, go inside, beat up who you need to in order to see Ren, and get the hell out already.”

“Nothing would make me happier.” Yaldabaoth reached out and touched the sphere. Immediately, the golden energies began surging through his body. Soon, he could no longer feel the heat of the sun on his skin, or the weariness of old muscles, or even the flow of blood. He just felt the pure power radiating throughout his being that he had always known. A fiendish grin formed on his face as he floated up into the air. No longer would he be beholden to this world’s ridiculous rules. He had found the High Priestess’s location. He would take what he wanted by force.

Yaldabaoth floated through the temple’s entrance. The second he entered the main hall, he saw dozens of pews. There was an altar on a stage overlooking them all, and behind the altar, a stained glass window depicting Ren Amamiya in his Phantom Thief outfit. Before the altar stood the prosecutor Sae Niijima, wearing judge’s robes.

“I am Judgment” she said.

“I do not care” Yaldabaoth said. He slowly floated towards her, contemplating how to end her existence.

“You would misuse strength to destroy what may be reasoned with” she said.

Perhaps he could burn her.

“You shun all wisdom that does not align with your preconceived notions, refusing to entertain the validity of other points of view.”

They were in a temple. Perhaps lightning from God would be a fitting death.

“You see no need for humility and have even undone your token gesture of lowering yourself to human.”

No, fire. Fire would be better. Slower, more agonizing.

“I pronounce you guilty.”

This figment dared to pass judgment on the mighty Yaldabaoth. He was going to enjoy hearing her scream.

“You will now face Justice.”

Just before Yaldabaoth reached Judgment, a figure dropped from the ceiling, standing between the two. It was Goro Akechi, wearing the outfit of the Black Mask that he had died in. He held a black sword in his hand, and glared at Yaldabaoth with a crazed look in his eyes.

“Guilty” he screamed. “Guilty guilty guilty! GUILTY!”

Justice swung his sword. Yaldabaoth glided back to avoid it. Using his power, he manifested a golden sword of his own.

“I am going to enjoy this immensely.”

The black and gold blades clashed over and over. To Yaldabaoth’s surprise, Justice was harder to overcome than he believed. Clearly Ren Amamiya had very strong feelings about Goro Akechi. This thing before him had monstrous strength. It was dogged and determined, screaming “GUILTY” over and over again with every swing of his blade. He gave no ground, he cared not for mercy like the other beings in this world. He was a mad dog, a hellhound that would ravage anything it could sink its fangs into.

But Yaldabaoth was no sinner to be cast into the pit. He was a god, and he would smite this failure’s ghost like one. He floated high into the air, a dark sphere manifesting in his hand. Justice let out a cry of pure rage and jumped into the air, ready to strike with with blade.

“STOP THIS!”

A ball of light appeared, encasing Justice. He fell asleep immediately, and the round cage was lowered to the ground. Yaldabaoth looked to the altar to see Makoto Niijima standing behind it, dressed in papal robes and a tall hat. The robes were black and spike-covered like her Phantom Thief outfit, and she even wore a mask that was shaped like Ren Amamiya's, but made of metal like her own mask when she was “Queen”.

“High Priestess!” Judgment turned to the visage of her counterpart’s younger sister. “What are you doing!? This monster does not belong here!”

“I can make such decisions for myself, Judgment.” The Priestess gave Judgment a condescending smile. “Take your attack dog and leave us.”

“But he-“

“I know what I'm doing. Trust me.”

“Yes, High Priestess.” Judgment walked out of the temple, the sphere containing Justice floating behind her.

“Welcome to my temple, Yaldabaoth.” The High Priestess descended the stairs in front of the altar and stopped a few feet away from the spot where Yaldabaoth was still hanging in the air. “Did you enjoy the trip?”

“You know I did not.” Yaldabaoth descended from his high position, but did not stop floating. He remained a few inches above the ground, looking down on the High Priestess.

“Yes, I know.” The High Priestess gave an insincere smile. “I also knew that you would not learn anything from the trip.”

“And yet, you sent me on it anyway. Why?”

“So you could get used to the feeling.”

“What feeling?”

“The feeling of being made a fool of by Ren Amamiya.” The High Priestess smirked at Yaldabaoth. “Ren doesn’t consciously know your true nature, but when you created this world, your essence became linked with his just enough for us to see you for what you truly are. You came here to learn if Ren Amamiya could possibly destroy you in the future. I will tell you now: It is not a possibility. It is a certainty.”

“You dare!?” Yaldabaoth once again summoned a golden sword. He held it to the High Priestess’s throat.

“You can deny it all you want, but you won’t know for sure until you see Ren yourself, and if you kill me, that will never happen.”

“Do not try and bluff me, girl.” Yaldabaoth pointed to the stained glass window of Joker with his free hand. “I have found Ren! I know how he sees himself now. A holy savior for all you wretches who would be miserable without him. He is just another arrogant human enforcing his will on the world behind the pretense of nobility.”

“That is not Ren. That is just a stained glass window.” The High Priestess raised her hand and slowly pushed away Yaldabaoth’s sword. “But I’d be more than happy to show you Ren.”

“Your happiness is not a factor. You will take me to Ren Amamiya NOW.”

“My, so pushy. Not very becoming of a god.” The High Priestess snapped her fingers and a sphere of light formed around herself and Yaldabaoth. It rose into the air at rapid speeds, crashing through the ceiling and shooting to the sky.

“A trek to the heavens. So Ren Amamiya sees himself as a god.”

“Please stop talking.” The High Priestess glared at Yaldabaoth. “Your projecting onto Ren is in the poorest taste.”

“Watch your tongue, figment, or I shall-“

“We’re here.” The sphere stopped in space. All around and beyond the duo was the infinite blackness.

“Where?” Yaldabaoth started looking around in all directions. “I do not see-“ Yaldabaoth stopped talking as he turned around and looked back at the earth. It did not look like its real-world equivalent. The ice caps on the top were large and many, covering a significant portion of the northern hemisphere, resembling a messy mop of hair. Just above the equator, there were two ovular continents connected by a bridge of land, forming the shape of glasses. A series of islands resembling a nose were settled right below the land bridge, and south of that, in the atmosphere was a massive cloud formation shaped like a smiling mouth.

“This cannot be!” Yaldabaoth declared.

“But it is” the High Priestess replied. “You were in error thinking this was Ren Amamiya's world. The world does not belong to him. The World _is_ him.”

Yaldabaoth could not deny it. Unfathomable though it was for one’s cognitive self to be so massive in scale, this world was shaped like Ren Amamiya.

“What does this mean!?”

“My goodness, is the mighty god stumped? I thought you were all-knowing.”

“ANSWER ME!”

“You said it yourself when you were with the Hermit: ‘Human beings find strength and meaning in their relationships with each other.’” She looked down at the World sorrowfully. “Not even a year ago, his world was completely shattered. Convicted of a crime he did not commit. Sent away from the only home he had ever known. Told by society at large that he was garbage and that he would have no future. His life ruined by a petty man on a power trip. And yet, in spite of all that…” The High Priestess’s lips curled up into a smile. “He rebuilt. He made new friends, found new people to love and who love him in turn. He opened his heart, found new purpose, found new meaning. Ren doesn’t see himself as our savior. We’re his saviors. We gave him back his life. It is through us that Ren is allowed to be a person again. The bonds he’s formed with us give him new hope, a new reason to endure. We make his world, and so he wants to be there for us so we can all be as happy as we’ve made him.”

Yaldabaoth gazed upon the World silently.

“Have you nothing to say? No great boasts or observations you want to make?” The High Priestess looked at Yaldabaoth expectantly. “Or perhaps you have truly learned something after all?”

“Enough of this.”

Yaldabaoth vanished into thin air. Then the High Priestess disappeared. And then the World, and everyone else on it.

* * *

 

Yaldabaoth reappeared in the Velvet Room. A very tired-looking Justine, hands still on Ren's temples, looked up at him.

“Welcome back, Master.”

“Did you find what you were looking for?” Caroline asked. “How is the inmate’s rehabilitation going?”

“Send him back to his world” Yaldabaoth replied. “And then make yourselves scarce. I must contemplate what I have witnessed in solitude.” Yaldabaoth walked out of the prison cell.

“Of course, Master.” Justine let go of Ren's head and left the cell as well. Caroline shut the door and locked it, and then the two retreated into the depths of the Velvet Room.

Yaldabaoth sat down at Igor’s desk. The words the High Priestess had spoken to him ran through his head again and again. He wasn’t entirely certain what to make of it. All he knew was that sooner or later, there would be a confrontation between him and Ren Amamiya.

And when that time came, Ren Amamiya would die.

**Author's Note:**

> Update: This fic's been changed to use Joker's canon name.


End file.
